X is angry, Y is angry, Are you angry?

Sometimes, I am told “X” is angry with Y” and “Y” is angry with “Z” or “Are you angry with me” and so on which makes me wonder whether every one on earth is busy getting angry with someone or the other for the lack of something better to do. May be yes since the cumulative heat generated from the anger is somewhere contributing to global warming :). My response to these statements have evolved over time from days of irritation – “Do you think I am jobless?”  to days of desperation – “Oh Stop it, not again”!! to amusement ” Yeah 🙂 That’s true ” to calm withdrawal.

The other day an acquaintance sent me a message enquiring whether I was still angry ? I laughed, for I have been receiving this message now and then over the last few months from this person and I chose not to respond. While contemplating on the question, I realized that most people who make such statements

  • have not yet made the attempt to look inward. The fact that they see anger in everyone is a reflection of their inner being
  • are suffering from some sort of guilt and are looking for assurance that all is well. May be they need to work on the root of that guilt and clear it out for their well being.
  • do not know how to handle situations when all is not well and want to live in a make believe harmonized world and more often than not escaping from what is
  • are seeking attention and making such statements will force the other person to respond and they can redeem themselves with a “Sorry”
  • do not understand that being pensive, and being disconnected is a state of calm being and not an expression of anger
  • do not realize that being in a state of anger is damaging to the body, mind and soul. No human will want to harm the gift of universe for something that does not benefit them
  • have not yet realized that anger is a result of unmet expectations in some facet of life and if anyone nurtures anger they need to sort it out themselves

In my opinion calm withdrawal is the best thing possible in such a scenario. Instead of  “No I am not” which would open up a can of worms and lead to further conversation on the same topic, I promptly sent out a message to my acquaintance seeking pardon for being judgmental but politely nudging to take a look inward and figure out if it was some sort of unresolved guilt speaking.

How do you feel? Have you faced such situations and what was your response?

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7 thoughts on “X is angry, Y is angry, Are you angry?

  1. Pingback: Emotions, Acceptance and a Sticky Situation | Life is a Vacation

    1. Sangeeta Post author

      I had to write it since whenever I get disconnected people ask me that question. It is so easy to think that we are perfect and everything is wrong with the other person.

  2. Andrew Williams

    I tend to watch myself constantly, thanks to an innate habit of reacting the wrong way in social situations. I have a particularly weird tendency in times of extreme emotion to split into two – the outer part of me can be angry, terrified, upset, deliriously happy or anything else, while the conscious part of me is somewhere inside, looking out, emotionally detached. It can’t directly control the outer part, but it can make “suggestions” on what it should do next. I don’t know anyone else who does this, but I am quite unusual in many ways! 🙂

    1. Sangeeta Post author

      I absolutely connect with what you have expressed. I go through it many a times if not always. Sometimes, the inward journey happens a split second later and I wish that it had happened earlier for me to experience that bliss of being completely detached. You have company in this unusual journey 🙂

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